Wednesday, March 21, 2007

When You Just Want to Hide Under the Covers

The Lord saw to it that I had a great day today with a cherished friend and her kids, as the evening was to get very distressing. I came home to a blinking answering machine while my cell phone was ringing at the same time.

Almost a year ago my grandmother was diagnosed with primary peritoneal carcinoma, an extremely aggressive, rare and fatal cancer. The mortality rate for this cancer is currently rated at 100%. She was given 2 months to 2 years to live. She has been battling this as equally aggressively for the past year and making great strides. Now it seems that it is taking its turn on her.

She was admitted to the hospital today unable to keep anything down, which has been the norm for close to two weeks now. She is also bleeding internally. Until more tests results come back and more scans are done we won't know much more. What we do know however is that she is dying and it is killing me.

My grandmother is only 80 and in our family, where the women live well into their 90s or past 100, that is young. Cancer has never been an issue, you just die of old age after living a long healthy life. I am not ready for her earthly life to end.

I will say, as odd as it sounds, that death could not court a better candidate. She does not want to die yet, she still has things that she wants to do, but she is more than ready. She has been a believer for decades and has no qualms about life after she dies, just the fact that she won't be here. She knows the Lord's timing is perfect, but like the rest of us she is human and wants to squeeze in as much mortal time as possible.

For those of you so inclined, please pray for us. She'll be fine when her body dies and she's in the arms of her King; we will be the ones left with broken hearts.


TheTutor said...

Oh, Sweetie! I am so sorry. You know that we have been praying for her, your mom, and your family this past year since your grandmother was diagnosed. My heart breaks for you. Continued prayers here.

Love you,

Susie said...

We are praying for ALL of you. We are so glad to know that God is holding her in His hands, no matter where she is.

Sending smiles, hugs, and prayers!!!!

jewlsntexas said...

I will be praying for you. Remember that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted. I pray you will feel His breath on your cheek today.

Sheri said...

I am with you I am being selfish and do not want our grandmother to leave this world either. These past 2 years with you all, has been the biggest blessing in my life other than my children. Thank you for your diligence in finding me in time to be able to get to know her. I also do not want grandmere to suffer or have her diginty compromised more than she can handle.