First thing to know is that I am really rooting for his biological mother. That may seem odd and I never thought I would even feel that way, but if she can pull it together, I think that Iggy should be with his biological family. Due to confidentiality I cannot really disclose a lot about her, but she is just clueless. Dad is not in the picture. There are no drug or alcohol issues, just poor parental skills and choices. Think of the first two lines of, "The Old Woman In The Shoe",
"There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do;"
...and there you have the situation. Minus the shoe of course. And the fact that there are no longer any children in the shoe. Enter 4 different foster families and, there you go.
So, I am praying for her. On February 6th Iggy will have his court date and it will be ordered that he either go home with his mother (or a relative) or stay with us for six more months. If he is to go home, I certainly hope it will be on the 6th and not after six more months or even a year, as that would be much harder. Which brings me to my next thought.
We came into this foster thing basically to adopt. We wanted to adopt and be able to help out in the foster care system and that was our goal. We would still like to adopt, but now our focus has changed a bit. We are here to serve, in whatever capacity, even if it means we never adopt and are simply a safe haven for children for short periods of time.
So if Iggy needs a forever home, then we are here for him with loving, open arms. For some reason (lack of sleep perhaps?) I do not get the vibe he is here permanently. Maybe the Lord is preparing my heart, but I have a feeling we may not be his future, just his present. I could be dead wrong and would be quite pleased if I am, but only the Lord knows for certain. I will say that I do have a peace about the thought that he may leave in just a few short weeks. There is no anxiety or sadness whatsoever as I would have expected. I will miss him a lot, he is an amazing and sweet little baby and I adore him, but I really want what is best for him, not just my own selfish desires. That is new!
We never really wanted to foster an infant and that is one of the reasons we did not have any more of our own. We love babies and nothing is better than snuggling a brand new babe, but are mentally out of the newborn/baby stage. If Iggy does go home, I doubt we would foster another infant unless that baby needed a legal risk home (foster parents willing to adopt) right off the bat. Then again, when I released control of this "mission" we are on, I did indeed submit total control to God, so who knows what will happen next.
I am just so grateful that we got to be in his life, no matter how long a period.