Thursday, July 12, 2007

Just Cry

It has been said and medically proven that a good cry is very healing. While crying, hormones are released through the tears hence resulting in less hormonal build up in the body. This is an art I would like to perfect.

My friend Susie and I get together as often as we can to watch a movie (or two) and sometimes out of necessity we pop in a chick flick. Sometimes we cry, sometimes not, but never that gut wrenching sobbing kind of cry (well, not counting "Steel Magnolias" and "Red Door" of course). The last time I had one of those was when I got "the call" this past April. My Grandmother was dying and I needed to get to Virginia from Pennsylvania as soon as possible. My hubby, being the amazing man that he is sent me off on my own sans kids for some time with her. He and the kids would follow a few days later. Therefore it was just me making the three hour drive. I turned up my stereo and sang and worshiped and cried the entire time. Sometimes so hard that I thought I had better pull over. It was that good kind of cleansing cry that fogs up your contact lenses and cleans out your tear ducts.

Being from Scottish and Indian families "public displays of crying" were never encouraged nor seen often. You just "bucked up". If someone did it, it was usually for dramatics or ridiculous hysteria, never true grief. For me, I could pour my emotions into my voice when I sang or performed, hence never needing that silly sniffling kind of display. I would cry alone in my room if need be or when I got really mad (don't you just hate when you are trying to be tough and stand your ground in an argument and your eyes leak?), rarely where anyone could see me. It was almost a sign of weakness or vulnerability.

The two movies Susie and I watched last night both tugged at your heartstrings, but one really made me think. It was Shadowlands, about C.S. Lewis. He was fairly emotionless (although witty) throughout his life until he fell in love with his wife Joy who was subsequently dying of cancer. She had a great line in the movie, "We can't have the happiness of yesterday without the pain of today. That's the deal."

After her death you see Lewis finally open up and cry with his stepson. I hope I can be that transparent with my kids when they are older and let them know that a good cry is important. It has nothing to do with weakness, just surrender. Although I currently have no need for a good cry, the movie certainly made me think. Next time, I do, I just will.

1 comment:

Susie said...

I'm so honored to have cried with you during those two movies!! :o) Thanks for letting me share them! I understand C.S. Lewis in a totally different way now.

A toast to tears!

Smiles and hugs!