Friday, May 16, 2008

My Husband Is An Evil, Evil, Evil Man

Mr. Clean is usually up and gone by 06:00, heading off to work. This is not a job requirement, Mr. Clean is just sick in the head and would rather "catch the early worm" than "burn the midnight oil". Whatever; I just lovingly know that he is warped and snuggle deeper into the covers after he leaves, and then I get up at a normal hour.

Since going back to Curves it has been easier to try and go in the morning if possible, but since they do not open until 06:30, it gets hard to do with Mr. Clean's schedule. I asked him to relent a couple of mornings and sacrifice the early worm for the sake of his bride. He has a few times, and waited for me to get home about 07:15 ish to then hurry out the door and make up for the lost morning. After all, by 07:30 its about time for lunch.

Last night he told me to go ahead and go if I wanted to and so I dragged my lazy carcass out of bed (did I ever mention that I am a "burn the midnight oil" kind of gal?) at 06:00 and made my way bleary eyed out the door where my friend was waiting to pick me up. Night owls are not legally allowed to drive themselves anywhere at 06:15.

Hurrying home I decided I needed to lay back on my cozy bed and read for a while before conquering my day and getting Baby Iggy up (he, like normal people, sleeps in until 08:00). I kissed Mr. Clean goodbye, saw that he had already taken care of feeding the offspring and went up to lay down. Feeling guilty for leaving the older ones on their own with PBS as their babysitter I went back downstairs as soon as I fed Iggy. Mr. Clean was still there. Mind you, it is now 08:15. He was still where I had left him, sitting at the kitchen table diligently working playing a word game on his laptop.

With my eyes as big as saucers, convinced he had been abducted by aliens and this was only his empty mindless shell gracing my kitchen table, I asked him why in the world he was still at home. His reply? "I have a meeting at 09:30 at __________ (a local college campus)."

Hang on just a minute. What was that? I sleepily made my way out the door sans make up and jewelry at 06:15 to race back in time so that he would not be pacing in the driveway and he did not have to leave until 09:15?!?!? I pointed all this out to him. The fact I could have slept longer. The fact that I was worried about getting back for his schedule. The fact that I could have slept longer. He grinned sheepishly. And then have the nerve to kiss me. And hug me.

The man is pure evil.


Lorri said...

What - is Mr. Clean in the Army? Good grief!

Just the title of this post cracked me up.

Jamie said...

My son woke at 7 this morning and I told him to go back to bed! I am NOT a morning person!

Lea said...

That is so funny! We have the same situation here, with me being the sleeper-inner and the husband being the worm-eater....except that I have not really started working out again yet:).