Thursday, March 19, 2015
You want me to build you a birdhouse? Okay! It may not be level, and it may look like a crooked little squatter's den but I'll do it. How about knotting a fleece blanket? Sure! They may not be exactly even squares, but it will keep you warm. Let's go bake a pie! That crust may burn a little, but it will be edible. Why not? Let's do it.
I will do a hundred things I am not so great at, and have no personal attachment or commitment to at the drop of a hat. If I goof them up, no worries. It won't bother me a bit. But something that I love and enjoy doing? If I can't make it sound the way I want it to, look the way I want it to, or read the way I want it to, I avoid it like the plague. I hate that part of my personality.
I revamped writing here a little bit ago. I committed to 365 days of writing; preferably in a row. I have not been quite keeping up my end of that commitment however, and I'm frustrated. I will write in my head at night and love the ideas. When I start to type the next day, the flash of inspiration from the night before, or even hours before in the shower or while brushing my teeth, just doesn't land. It doesn't sound right. It doesn't have that feeling I felt when I was writing in my head. It just... doesn't. So, I abandon it. And then I get annoyed with myself.
So it's time to get off of my self imagined high horse and just do it. Get thoughts typed even if they do not match what I had originally conjured. Let them take their own twists and turns, even if sometimes, I am not sure where they will end. Like today.